Mastering Tough Feedback (Part 3): How leaders can get feedback when it isn't forthcoming
How leaders can get feedback when it isn't forthcoming
Are you a leader who craves honest feedback but faces challenges obtaining it?
A recent survey found that 55% of Directors and higher up want more feedback on their work.
However, getting objective feedback becomes increasingly challenging within pressure faced leadership teams - especially ones that are facing high levels of change and uncertainty.
Ben, a Communications Director, shared with me recently ‘I’m really struggling to find someone I trust who I can ask for honest feedback’.
Ben is 12 months into his role on the senior team, and whilst he has good day to day relationships with his peers, a new CEO, new external colleagues and rumblings of a buyout have disrupted the team’s cohesion.
Whilst there are broader issues at play, Ben needs and wants feedback on his own performance. But he’s skeptical about finding people who will provide it.
Bens situation isn’t unusual. And as much as you might not want to recognise it, senior teams aren’t always geared towards mutual development and support.
There is constant change, pressure, internal politics and occasionally, competition. Plus, egos can come into play.
But leadership is a never-ending learning process, and even experienced leaders can always learn something new.
Feedback is crucial for building self-awareness, understanding strengths, and knowing where to improve and adapt.
During challenging times, which are common at the senior level, it's tempting to avoid asking for or giving feedback.
But the truth is, there will always be obstacles in leadership.
So if you are finding it a challenge to get the feedback that you need, here are four things to get you started:
Know another leader who could use a touch of inspiration and help today? This post is free, and public, so feel free to share it.
Reframe: Instead of asking for feedback, ask for advice instead. Harvard Business School identified that when asked to provide advice, people focussed less on evaluation and more on possible future actions, rather than critique.
Being asked for feedback can feel uncomfortable, but being asked for advice calls feels more positive.
Who would you feel comfortable asking for advice from, different to asking for feedback?
What could you ask them, today?
Expand: It is likely that the things you do at a senior level bear close resonance to those you do elsewhere in the business. So don’t overlook the power of seeking feedback from others around you; your direct reports, your stakeholders and others you work with. Identify those who observe your behaviour closely and who will be prepared to give you honest feedback.
Requesting feedback doesn’t need to be complicated. But it does need to be clear. Asking “Do you have any feedback?” is a surefire way to get a deflective and default ‘no’ in response.
Instead, go for an open, but specific question. Target it to a specific skill, or area you want to hone.
For example:
“What one thing could I do differently to help you get more out of our next leadership meeting?”
Action: Identify two people you can request feedback from before the end of the week. Write down a specific question that you can ask at each, to request feedback.
Focus: Many coaches (like me) can spend time alongside you whilst you work - observing your interactions and helping you explore your performance in real time. If that isn’t something that your coach does, take a recording of of a meeting to your session and review together.
Observing yourself is a powerful way to reflect and learn, when feedback isn’t forthcoming. So, if you don’t have a coach, try this instead:
Record one of your virtual meetings (or audio record in person) and play it back to yourself. Watch it twice: once with a macro view observing your delivery more generally and secondly focussing on a specific skill/behaviour that you want to improve:
And answer these questions:
What were three things that you did well?
What else did you notice?
As a result of what you did, what reactions did you receive?
What could you experiment with differently next time?
Read: This piece for HBR delves into how, when uncertainty is high, knowing where you stand (and learning about your mistakes while there’s still time to fix them) is more important than ever. It is worth a read.
This is the third part of a leadership mini series, delving into the art of feedback.
In the first part we dug into how your personal leadership style influences the way you give feedback.
And last week, in part two, we explored strategies to adapt your feedback style to better suit the preferences of others. Because feedback is not a one-way street.
You can find both here:
Mastering Tough Feedback: How does your leadership style help and hinder you?
Mastering Tough Feedback: How to customise your feedback style for maximum impact
Next week, in the final part of this series we’ll explore how to deal with feedback with dignity; even when it stings. Or you disagree with it.
Meantime, if you’re enjoying this thread on feedback or have any feedback for me I’d love to hear it.
You can ping me a message by simply hitting reply or add a comment here ⤵