The Child Inside
Loss, Hope and Reconnection
Last week one of the bravest people I know died.
Hollie was nothing less than amazing.
She navigated impossible situations with positivity, courage and resolve and inspired those she met to help her succeed.
She was kind, humble and always interested in what others were doing and thinking. She loved learning and creating and had a cheeky fearless sense of adventure to boot.
I’d been privileged too to see how Hollie buoyed spirits and kept everyone going around her even during tough times. I recall her family describing how on one such occasion she stood up boldly on the coffee table and said “we’ve been here before, we’ll be OK”.
That’s something.
You see, Hollie had also spent the last four years fighting neuroblastoma, an incredibly cruel form of cancer.
And she was 9 years old when she died last Tuesday.
Tree climbing last September.
The lovely thing is that the qualities Hollie exhibited are ones that many young children naturally possess. And in her short life Hollie lived them more strongly than many adults will do in a lifetime.
The real spirit in her was luminous. And Hollie’s opportunity to showcase her special qualities to the world was tragically cut short.
The world is definitely missing out.
As I’ve been reflecting on this over the last week, it made me think about the opportunities that those of us who do reach adulthood have; the opportunity to share who we are with the world and to use our uniqueness for good.
The thing is, as we age our experiences (both painful and joyful) shape who we become along the way; sometimes strengthening the natural qualities that you have but sometimes also taking you away from the person you truly are.
When faced with pressure to conform - to your role, business or societal norms - rather than stand out, the things that make you unique gradually start to get hidden by the mask you wear to fit in.
As a coach, I frequently spend time with clients helping them remember what really matters and who they are inside.
And I’ve learned that even the most brilliant of leaders can use help reconnecting with themselves.
In the spirit of reflection this week, I invite you to pause for a moment and reconnect with the child within you.
Because no matter how tough your week, or how exhausted and demotivated you get, your original spirit and uniqueness is still inside you.
And the world needs more of that.
Here’s a short exercise you can play with.
Find a photo of yourself as a child. It might be a school picture, one of you playing or a family snap. It doesn’t need to be perfect.
Look at the child in the picture. What do you see? What are the things this child loves? What lights up this child?
Put the photo somewhere you will see it often.
Every day look at the photo and think about how you can do something that would make that child smile. Then do it.
Then, as always, reflect each day. What would the child in the photo be proud of about your day? What can you do to bring more of that into the way you live and lead?
The photo above is of Hollie whilst climbing in the trees - she was on a break from her drug trial and waiting for the outcome of a difficult MRI in September.
She spent the entire time wanting to climb higher, faster and challenging us to do the same. She was absolutely fearless.
Hollies super-mum is one of my lifelong best friends, and the immunotherapy drug trial took place here in Spain, a long way from their New Zealand home & family. I’m so grateful to have got to spend as much time with them as I did.
You can read Hollie’s story in full here and make donations to the Starship Foundation here.
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This is a very powerful post; maybe your best ever.