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Regardless of the level of leadership, in my practice there is often a moment when clients share their inner questions with me about whether the road that they are speeding along is the one that they really want, or whether the off ramp might be more tempting.
You will likely be familiar with the parable of the fisherman and the executive; it’s a story well told and strikes at the heart of what many people has become the expected way of life in western culture today.
Here’s a short version below:
The Mexican Fisherman Parable
An investment banker was at the pier of a small coastal Mexican fishing village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. Inside the small boat were several fish. The banker complimented the fisherman on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took to catch them.
The fisherman replied, “only a little while”. The fish looked wonderful and so the banker asked “why didn’t you stay out longer and catch more fish?”
The fisherman said he had caught plenty enough to provide for his family’s needs for quite a while and even to give some fish away to others in the village. And the banker then asked, “but what do you do with the rest of your time?”
The fisherman said, “I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take siestas with my wife, stroll into the village each evening where I sip wine, and play guitar with my friends. I have a full and busy life.”
The banker scoffed. “I am an experienced businessman and can help you,” he said. “You should spend more time fishing, and with the proceeds, buy a bigger boat. With the proceeds from the bigger boat, you could have a fleet of fishing boats, open up your own cannery and control all of the distribution,” he said. “Of course, you would need to leave this small coastal fishing village and move to a bigger city to run the expanding enterprise. It will be hard work but you’ll get a big house, a nice car, and could buy anything you desire”.
The fisherman asked, “But, how long will this all take?”
To which the banker replied “no more than 15 – 20 years.”
“So what then?” Asked the fisherman.
The banker laughed and said, “That’s the best part. When the time is right, you would sell your company and become very rich. You would make millions!”
“Millions – then what?” asked the fisherman.
The banker said, “Then you could retire. Move to a small coastal fishing village where you would sleep late, fish a little, play with your children, take siestas with your wife, stroll to the village in the evenings where you could sip wine and play your guitar with your friends.”
The journey is as arguably as important as the destination, yet when the journey takes us to a place we didn’t really want to go - or deviates from getting there quicker - therein lies a problem.
“People may spend their whole lives climbing the ladder of success only to find, once they reach the top, that the ladder is leaning against the wrong wall.”
Thomas Merton
As we go through life, societal expectations and norms can often shape our paths, and the pressure to conform rather than stand out can cause what we truly value and desire to get lost in the noise or hidden beneath the mask we wear to fit in.
As a coach, I help clients remember what really matters to them and who they are inside.
And I’ve learned that even the most brilliant of leaders can use help reconnecting with themselves.
Often, a little fine tuning is all that is needed; but sometimes the off ramp presents itself and new opportunities emerge.
Many of us are fortunate today to have the opportunity to change our paths if we choose to. Because today, even if you’re in your 40’s or 50’s it’s likely that you’ll still have up to 20 years left in a professional working capacity. And as much as the dream of hanging up your work boots might entice you, many high achieving leaders find, upon reaching retirement, that they simply aren’t ready to stop.
This week I invite you to pause for a moment and do a mini check in of your own.
Because when you’re sat in your armchair, years from now the story you look back on must be one that makes you proud.
And there's no better time to start than now.
Below are seven simple questions to get help you get started.
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Seven Questions to Send You In The Right Direction
The objective of these questions is to explore beneath the surface, and help you create the headspace to think about what you really want.
You might take 10 minutes or reflect on them over the course of the week.
Here are your questions:
What values are most important to you?
What kind of person do you want to be?
What do you care most about in life?
What gives you the greatest satisfaction and inspires you to do your best?
How can you be more intentional about living the values that are important to you?
What course corrections do you need to make?
What’s your first step?
Know another leader who wants to get more from life? This post, like all Spark pieces, are publicly available so feel free to share it.